The Studio

Many of my male dancing friends love to follow. Every now and then, I am inclined to lead so that they may follow. But, the truth is, I'm not nearly or even a fraction as good as a lead as they are. The thought has crossed my mind once or twice that I should learn to lead. It appears that all the great dancers can both lead and follow.

The truth is, the reasons that I have not learned to lead are purely selfish. I love to follow -- it's that simple.

Recently, I've also noticed that while I love waltz and polka and swing, I am insatiable when it comes to salsa, hustle, and tango (gasp!). For me, these dances are about as close as one can get to pure lead and follow (well, that, and Eric's improv which I also enjoy immensely).

In my day-to-day activities, I am always in control. I drive my days. More often then not, I am a decision maker. The gears upstairs are always churning. I will not be successful at what I do if I reacted rather than initiated. I am usually "on".

Mind you, I am not merely talking about work and career here. The above describes how the last 8 or 10 years of my life have pretty much been. But you see, when I step onto the dance floor as a follow, I can (in most cases) put all my trust in my partner. I can relax, let someone else drive. I get to play the role of reactor and interpreter, and take what cues I am given and turn them into as beautiful a move as I can muster.

I transform into someone else when on the dance floor. I feel feminine. I feel that I am treated as a lady. Oddly enough, I don't always get that off the floor. It probably has something to do with the alpha personality and the fierce independence and self-sufficiency.

So many people think that equality between men and women means that both sexes should be treated in the same manner. I couldn't disagree more. Maybe it's the southern in me. I don't see courtesy as an insult to my gender. Women and Men are different, that's a fact. So until men can bear children, the fact remains there are times when it is necessary to treat the different sexes differently.

But, I digress. I find that in waltz, at least rotary and Viennese styles, the two partners have very similar roles. Yes, there are some pretty turns for the follows, every now and again, but for the most part, the follow is doing pretty much the same thing as the lead, just a bar later. For some, this is their reason for loving waltz. I love waltz because this aspect of it is very familiar and comfortable. Helping my partner around, and sharing equal responsibility comes very naturally to me. When I waltz, I can turn on the auto-pilot. To some extent, a good waltz is when the follow is back-leading, half the time.

When I salsa, hustle, or tango, it's not at all natural. My brain has to switch gears. I find this incredibly stimulating, not to mention that I can kind of escape to a parallel world.

So, to all my male dancing friends out there who love to follow....I must apologize for not leading more. And, until this other side of me finds satisfaction off the dance floor, don't expect too much to change. Just know that when you are leading me around, I appreciate it more than you know.

If I could grant
You one wish
I'd wish you could see the way you lead
Ooh, I love danc'n with you
Baby
When you're sending me spinning

Ooh, I love the way you
Love the way you lead me
There's nowhere else I'd rather be
Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me
I only wish that you could see the way you lead me
The way you lead

It's not right
It's not fair
What you're missing over there
Someday I'll find a way to show you
Just how lucky I am to know you

Ooh, I love the way you
Love the way you lead me
There's nowhere else I'd rather be
Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me
I only wish that you could see the way you lead me
The way you love me

You're the million reasons why
There's glee reflecting in my eyes

Ooh, I love the way you
Love the way you lead me
There's nowhere else I'd rather be
Ooh, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me
I only wish that you could see the way you lead me
The way you lead me
The way you lead me

Ooh, the way you love me
The way you love me