The Studio

Ok, the last post was sort of a "bottom of the valley" post for me. Things have been remarkably great since then. For Memorial Day, I actually hung out with a bunch of people I really didn't know, and it was refreshing in a variety of ways. First off, we did a lot of fun things and enjoyed our time without over-thinking our interactions, and second, hanging out with strangers also allowed me to appreciate my friends more.

On Saturday, we drove down to Monterey/Carmel, stopping in Gilroy for lunch, and also at Barnes & Noble to pick up some books for the weekend. I am such a sucker for on-sale novels. They usually turn out to be not much more than extremely entertaining garbage, but I can't ever resist. I also bought some fun gifts for Andrea and chi Huong. I hope they like it. After checking into our hotel in Monterey, we went to Carmel to lay on the beach. It was a touch chilly, but we all had some good reading and all took a nice nap too. David and I took a walk down the beach, and both of us were disappointed at the lack of eye-candy. Sadness. I guess it wasn't warm enough. The rest of Saturday was comprised of dinner and hanging out with everyone in our hotel room and deciding on Sunday activities. It's amazing to meet a group of people MORE indecisive than my own friends!

Sunday started a little early since we wanted to be on the water at a reasonable hour. Kayaking was sooo much fun! The water was super clear, and it was amazing to be so close to all the different wildlife. Walking along the wharf and cannery row and the acquarium were neat too. Monday was a day at Hearst castle. The drive down the 1 was gorgeous, but boy did Hearst castle make me feel poor.

I always thought that I would be a fairly successful person when I grew up -- successful in love, successful in business, successful in life. Now that I'm growing up, I find that it's harder than I once thought. I never thought I could be filthy rich and live exorbitantly, but I always dreamed that I had that potential in me. Even so, now that I've started working, it's becoming harder for me to imagine that I'll ever really stand-out or accelerate at a quicker speed than my peers in the corporate world. I know to some degree that I've just moved into a bigger pond, and that I'm once again a small fish and it'll take some time to establish myself and grow and bulk up so that I can rumble with the big fish, but I'm so darn impatient about these things.

Before entering the working world, I had never been in the same pond for more than 4 years. It usually took me 1/4 to 1/2 of that time to establish myself, find my passions, and gain enough trust and confidence to start leading. Now, the pond that I've just jumped into is large enough so that I can probably hang out in it for the next 30 or 40 years! (hopefully not 40!). So, assuming that I work for 30 years, it's going to take me about 7 to establish myself, and 15 to lead the pack? gah! That seems like an eternity to me!!!

Fortunately, if 2005 has been any indication, time out here in the "real" world moves much more quickly than I anticipated. I always thought that without midterms, finals, winter breaks, and summer breaks, time just would move more slowly, as one big inert blog. That has certainly not been true, since it's June, and I'm still in New Year's mode. It must be all those milestones and deliverables at work, or the realization that there are so many things that I want to do, and as much as I squeeze into one day, there's still so much that doesn't fit. Maybe 7 years will pass just like that. I hope that I can savour the days though, and that they just don't pass me by. I know that with some patience, a little luck, and belief in myself, I will be able to attain all that I could ever desire. I've never let myself down before, and I don't intend to start now. I just have to remember that I'm in it for the long haul now...it's not just a quick 4 years. The same applies to my relationships. The relationships that are going to last a lifetime don't blossom overnight. There's a lot of investment that's going to have to happen, and well guys, whether you like it or not, I'm playing for keeps. Deep breath Trang, have patience. I miss you guys -- hope to see many of you soon.

My friend the communist
Holds meetings in his RV
I can't afford his gas
So I'm stuck here watching TV
I don't have digital
I don't have diddly squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

I'm gonna soak up the sun
Gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up o I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I've got a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe i am crazy too

I'm gonna soak up the sun
While it's still free
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me
Don't have no master suite
I'm still the king of me
You have a fancy ride, but baby
I'm the one who has the key
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too

I'm gonna soak up the sun
Got my 45 on
So I can rock on.