The Studio

As I sit here, watching the sun rise from a conference room window, I really don't know what it is I'm thinking about, or what it is I have been thinking about this entire last week.

I am certainly no stranger to sunrise; I have many times been witness to sunrise, often from the wrong end. Of all the times I've been up for sunrise, I can't say I've ever really been a fan. There has always been a poetic, yet melancholy air about sunrise. I think it makes me pensive and feel isolated because the light that sunrise offers is cold and somewhat stark. Sunrise doesn't offer the cheery warmth and beautiful colors of sunset.

Though Sunrise and I are well acquainted, he is yet a stranger to me, aloof and uncaring. Even so, he provokes me to reflect on what has transcended. And yet today, as I gaze out of my third floor conference room window, I find that I have difficulty recalling any of the highs or lows of the past week. I find this very disturbing -- not because I can't remember the highs of the week, but because I am convinced that most of the week was pretty even keel. And, well, I won't even bother to repeat any of the myriads of sayings about flat lines.

I have been desperately trying to be content with where I am in life, busying myself with all sorts of side projects and activities and people. Yet, I constantly find myself staring blanking into this black hole, a gape of unknown origin and locale. There is a restlessness within me -- something that desires nothing more than to get out, to escape the deep confines of my soul, to hold its head high and walk in the sunlight. Only if I knew what it was.

At times like this, I wish for a companion or a friend who will challenge me to "reveal" myself -- someone with whom I can share me. Wow, this blog is beginning to sound familiar...

I tired of this sunrise melancholy. I quit. Good day.

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...