The Studio

Many of my female friends often complain that chivalry is dead, or that guys just aren't grown here like they are in the south. That may be true, but I don't think that it can be completely attributed to chivalry.

Over the years, good old-fashioned chivalry has faded because too many guys have been burned by some crazy feminist accusing them of being chauvinist, rather than the intended chivalrous. Admittedly, it is a fine line, but you can never go wrong if your intent is to show someone in your life you care, rather than being motivated by the need to "rescue" or "protect" or "help" this person.

So here, we can all help each other out. Ladies, if there are particular things would make you feel better cared for, tell your friends rather than just "...wishing, and hoping, and praying..." that someone will pick up on it. And guys, don't be afraid to take that teeny extra step to show the people in your life you care. It has nothing to do with courting, or romancing, or pursuing a lady. Many of the things the things that make a gentleman a gentleman are gestures that should be extended to your mothers, sisters, and friends of the female persuasion. Many of these gestures require little to no effort on your part, but it will mean a lot to the receiving party.

Since I'm sure that there most females will not tell the men in their life what it is they need from them, I'll give you guys a head start, by highlighting some super simple things you can do to show the ladies in your life that you care about them. Ladies, feel free to add comments to this list if you can think of other caring gestures. Maybe one day I'll have enough to compile it into a "1001 Ways to Show You Care" book. =)

1. When walking with a lady, don't walk in front of her -- walk at a comfortable speed for her. This particularly applies if you're walking at night.
2. When walking with a lady, walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street, often the lefthand side. This is the traditional rule of thumbs, stemming back to the day when people used to dump trash and sewage onto the streets from their balconies and windows. The intent is to allow the lady to walk under the awning. Today, I would amend this to, walk on the spookier side of the sidewalk, changing as needed. For example, imagine a sidewalk at night. The two of you are about to walk past a group of thuggish looking men. In this case, it would make more sense for the gentleman to put himself between the lady and the "threat". "Threats" to look for, crazy people, dark alleys, street hustlers, whatever else is raising a red flag in your eyes.
3. Offer to walk the lady to her car at night. This one seems pretty self-explanatory.
4. When dropping a lady off at night, wait around until she is safely inside her home.
5. If a lady parts company with you at night, ask her to call you when she's home, or give her a call when you expect she will have arrived at home. With all the modern day technologies, there are a ton of different variations of this -- IM, text message, etc.
6. If you happen to find out that the lady is feeling under the weather, offer to bring over some soup and a movie. Notice I said nothing about making the soup yourself. Safeway has a great selection of gourmet soups.
7. Ask a lady about something that is important to her. Was there a meeting that she was stressing about all week? Is there stuffing going on with her family that she's been pre-occupied with? Just show her that you listen or that you're in tune with what's going on in her life.
8. If a lady has prepared a meal for you, always be sure to thank her, and offer to do the dishes. This has almost nothing to do with chivalry, but is rather common courtesy. Ladies and gentlemen alike, never take each other for granted.
9. Every now and then, offer to come pick her up when you guys go out.
10. When it's getting chilly outside, offer her your jacket -- don't wait for her to ask for it.

There it is, my top 10 list. You can't honestly tell me that any of these require too much effort on your part. They're things we should do for one another, for friends, for family, for people we love. Most of them are even pretty gender neutral -- I know that these are things I would do for both my male and female friends (though I've also been accused of being a guy, but that's a story for another day). So you see, it's not very hard to show someone that you care. Life's too short to be shy or to take anything for granted. So, go on, give some of these a try, and see if it doesn't make you feel great too, to be able to do something thoughtful for someone else.

She hit the door 6:55 sack full of groceries split down the side.
Can goods scattered all the way to the curb.
Look on her face saying don't say a word.
So, it's me and her and a can of beans sitting there on the front porch swing.
Western sky all turning red.
Head on my shoulder she sighed and said:

Been gopherin, chaufferin, company chairmen.
Coffee maker, Copy repairman.
Anymore there ain't nothin I swear man that I don't do.
Been juggling, struggling, closing big deals.
Dancing backwards in high heels.
Just when it feels like i can't make it through.
She said it sure is nice to just be the woman with you

She said the girl I was with the business degree probally wouldn't recognize me.
I was gonna run the bank.
I was gonna run them out.
Now all I want to run is a bubble bath.
Back then you know I had this plan.
Before all of this reality set in.
Here comes life boy ready or not.
Hey I wanted it all and thats what I got.

Cause I'm gopherin, chaufferin, company chairmen.
Coffee maker, Copy repairman.
Anymore there ain't nothin I swear man that
I don't do.
Been juggling, struggling, closing big deals.
Dancing backwards in high heels.
Just when it feels like I can't make it through.
She said it sure is nice to just be the woman with you.

She said I'm gopherin,chaufferin, company chairmen.
Coffee maker, Copy repairman.
Anymore there ain't nothin I swear man that I don't do.
Been juggling, struggling, closing big deals.
Dancing backwards in high heels.
Just when it feels like I can't make it through.
She said it sure is nice to just be the woman the woman with you.

La, la, la, la, la, la

The woman with you