The Studio

"Impossible relationships. My special gift is impossible relationships." Edward Lewis, Pretty Woman. I think he hit the nail on the head with that one. Lately I've been noticing that Eddie and I have some things in common. My problem isn't so much that I find myself in impossible relationships as much as I am drawn to them. It's always that which I can't have that I want; sometimes I am drawn to relationships which I know full well are bad for me. But none of this ever stops me you see. I even had a friend hypothesize that I am drawn to unavailable people.

To some degree, everyone wants what they can't have, but my problem seems a little more extreme and certainly much more chronic. I chase relationships that have very slim chances of succeeding and I also get emotionally involved prematurely. All this is to say that I pretty much set myself up for devastating failures. As much as I've thought about this, analyzed my motivations and actions, I still have no explanation for why it is I chase these impossible relationships.

In the past year I haven't found that many people who have sparked my interest, but of those who have, one was a guy who still wanted to be a player and who didn't know me at all, one was significantly older and lived in another state, one was also significantly older and I don't even know if he was single cuz I talked to him for a total of an hour during which time he mocked me for being a baby, and the last one is a real zinger...it's my long-time friend, longest even because I've known him all my life and for reasons unbeknownst to me, I was crushed when I recently found out that he was dating someone. Gosh I hope he doesn't read this blog. It was like a scene right out of My Best Friend's Wedding. I have to tell you guys that when I watched that movie, I was rooting for Julia to get the guy the whole time, probably because I could totally see myself as Julia and my friend as the best friend.

I think there's a small part of me, deep down where reason does not shine its light, that thinks it would be grand to end up with the person you've known all your life. It sure would make a great story. Anyways, I digress.

Until I can figure out how to identify a successful relationship or an emotionally available man, I'm going to just have to keep myself busy and distracted. Fleeing to a developing country should do the trick....maybe planning a 2,000 person charity concert would help too....

Stay tuned to find out how this story will end...someday....in the not so near future....