The Studio

Considering how much my company preaches High Performance, and delivering results, the last two weeks of training have been anything but high performing.

The classroom content was quite elementary, and highly redundant and repetitive. The nightly social activity of choice was a bit juvenile for my taste. And the worse part, no one seemed to care that most of the attendees just weren't engaged in the training.

Don't get my wrong, it's amazing that my company would spend as much as they did to send me to training, but they really got the raw end of the deal if they were expecting me to come back from training inspired and armed with skills to work more efficiently or to bring innovation to my work.

If you ask me, here is what training should look like:

Since the purpose of our training is to learn process and methods rather than industry knowledge, the course could be structured in a very different manner. One approach would be to put the students in an environment where they are not in their comfort zone and are forced to step up to the plate. This would increase the learning curve and the ability to learn to apply the methods ten fold. Not only that, the students would perform at a much higher level and students would be able to build much stronger and more meaningful bonds.

On the first Tuesday night, we all participated in this team building event where were supposed to complete a series of tasks such as building a tower out of paper that could support a brick, along with a few other of those "think out of the box" activities/puzzles. Based on that event, the staff and faculty should have gathered that the students grow the most when they are asked to do novel tasks and if there's a bit of a competitive spin placed on activities.

I propose that the training be restructured in a way where students are learning prescribed methods in parallel with life skills such as working in teams, leadership (not that I really think you can teach leadership), and adapting to new environments. Two great ways of doing this would be to spend a large portion of the training time applying methodology to building a physical structure or doing some social service project. I think that when people are being stimulated and challenged, longer hours won't feel as long.

A proposed typical day:
Start: 7:00 or 7:30
Classroom time: until 11:00 or 12:00.
(Go over methodologies and processes.)
Lunch: 1 hr
"Project" time: 4 - 5 hrs.
(Applying theory to the real world.)
Dinner 1:30 - 2:00 hrs.
Recap: 1 hr. Go over the lessons learned from time on the "project" and how the methodologies were applicable.
Break for the evening.

As much as I enjoy a good evening at the club or at the bar, if some of my classmates can sustain a nightly drinking schedule (sometimes in excess), clearly we are not performing at our peak during the day. Our time is too precious to attend a training where not everyone is engaged. Honestly, I've been actually keeping track (admittedly out of boredom), but at any given moment, only about 20% of the class is actually looking at the screen or are engaged.

It would be naive to think that my suggestions would ever be put into place, but here's one that should be feasible...The guidance team that develops the curriculum should not be comprised of only senior executives of the company. I think people at all levels within the company, even those who have only been with the company a few months all have relevant input on how to shape this course to achieve maximum outcome and relevancy. I think that for many senior executives, it's been a few years since they were newbies, and while the current content of the training is important and relevant, I think that the newbies can be pushed and challenged even more. I think a diverse guidance committee would be invaluable to shaping the future of the course.

Instead of repeating some of the activities three or four times, I would like to see the bar raised, and spend more time on fewer but more challenging tasks. Read: challenging does not equal tedious.

Now, my comments and criticisms should not be construed as griping in any way. I think training is a very important part to building a strong culture, a strong company, and is a valuable part of your compensation package. But, I also think that everyone's time is valuable, and that training should yield more -- greater results.

Day after day I'm more confused
Then I look for the light through the pourin' rain
You know, that's a game, that I hate to lose
I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame

[CHORUS:]
Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Beginin' to think, that I'm wastin' time
And I don't understand the things I do
The world outside looks so unkind
And I'm countin' on you, you can carry me through

Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

And when my mind is free
You know your melody can move me
And when I'm feelin' blue
The guitars come through to soothe me

Thanks for the joy you've given me
I want you to know that I believe in your song
And rhythm, and rhyme, and harmony
You helped me along, you're makin' me strong

Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

24 Hours. Never did I imagine that the election of the new pope would be resolved so quickly.

I can't say that I was very excited or too thrilled when the name of the new pope was announced. Many of the people I know, myself included, were hoping for a pope to come out of one of the third world countries. With the current situation of the world, and the rapid globalization, I think having some leadership come out of one of the poor nations could have really helped bring attention to the injustices and socio-economic disparities in the world.

Personally, I was hoping for cardinal Rodriguez, from Honduras, whom I met last spring when he came to Stanford. Cardinal Rodriguez was a wonderfully eloquent speaker and has been very vocal and active in changing the plight of the poor.

Now, I wasn't around in 1978 when Pope John Paul became Pope, and thus have no point of reference as to how well he was received, but certainly, some of the media that has come out about Ratzinger in the last few hours does not bode well.

Many in Germany claim that Ratzinger have alienated some catholics due to his strict orthodoxy. That claim may or may not be true, but I think it is widely accepted that Ratzinger is very conservative. Here are a few representtive quotes that are cause for concern:

"[Ratzinger will be a] transitional leader who promises to enforce strictly conservative policies for the world's Roman Catholics."

"As a Cardinal, he wrote Truth and Tolerance, a book in which he denounces the use of tolerance as an excuse to distort the truth"

"Many Vatican experts had said Ratzinger, John Paul's tough doctrinal watchdog for 23 years, was too divisive and too old to become pope."

The Catholic church has had variable success in maintaining its relevancy to its younger members. I have serious concerns that Ratzinger will be able to reach out to the young and to draw in new seekers. If Ratzinger has not been able to unify the German congregation, what approach will he take to unite the catholics around the world?

It's not only his conservatism that concerns me -- it's some of the issues of which he is a staunch critic. He is a hard-line opponent of homosexuality, gay marriage, and abortion. Many catholics of all generations and socio-economic backgrounds are quite moderate, some even liberal. I feel like the church is potentially taking a huge step backwards in time with the election of Ratzinger. Honestly, if God meant for homosexuality to be immoral, how could there be scientific evidence that compellingly suggests that homosexuality is very tightly based on anatomical and physiological differences between people?

But, the topic of homosexuality is only a component of what makes me nervous about the new pope. Needless to say, I am skeptical that he was the right choice. I hope that I will not be condemned for thinking so.

I guess we'll just have to see how the next few months/years pan out.

there'll be a fire burning in the temple of our peace
there'll be a soaring voice for our silent pleas
we will hold our broken circle and begin to pray
we will find a black and white in the gray

and we will be as one god
and we will be as one people

we will find illumination in unnatural light
you will travel a thousand miles without leaving my sight
we will find we never knew hatred ran so deep
such a wide, wide chasm of faith to leap

but we will be as one god
and we will be as one people

there will be an evolution of the human soul
we will know that be a part is to be truly whole
we will know the pattern of centuries rise and fall
we will know that the fate of one is the fate of all

and we will be as one god
and we will be as one people

Ah, yes. I am myself again. I still think the content of my training is CRAP, but I'm enjoying myself well enough.

Eh, I'm not gonna talk about training....maybe I'll talk about our weekend in Chicago.

We went to a bunch of places, walked almost the entire downtown. My feet are sore. Chicago has quite a bit of history, it was an interesting place. I liked the feel of the city a lot...it's probably a place I could live. I don't know about the winters, but in general I enjoyed the city.

We stayed at the Palmer House Hilton, SUPER nice. The food (steak) was yumm. Spent the evening at the Green Mill, a jazz club and also Al Capone's old hangout. Today, saw the city from the bar at the top of the John Hancock tower, walked to Millennium Park and the Navy Pier. Didn't make it to the baseball game but the Cubs were out of town anyways.

Mike and I chose our activities nicely. Turns out we're both more of "let's kick back and chill" people -- not "let's go crazy and get shit-faced and not remember the night" people.

I still don't understand the draw of drinking profusely nor drinking profusely every night. C'mon guys, you can do that anywhere. What's the appeal?

I guess it's just not me. But, why is it that there are more of the latter types, and not the former types? Makes ya wonder....

But, I shouldn't wonder that much, sleep would do me more good.

Goodnight! Hope to see most of you guys soon!

When you're alone
And life is making you lonely,
You can always go downtown
When you've got worries,
All the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know, downtown

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure,
Downtown, everything's waiting for you
(Downtown)

Don't hang around
And let your problems surround you
There are movie shows downtown
Maybe you know
Some little places to go to
Where they never close downtown

Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle bossanova
You'll be dancing with 'em, too, before the night is over
Happy again

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downtown where all the lights are bright,
Downtown, waiting for you tonight,
Downtown, you're gonna be alright now
(Downtown downtown)

Downtown
(Downtown)

And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

So, maybe I'll see you there
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares and go
Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, don't wait a minute more,
Downtown, everything's waiting for you

Downtown (downtown) downtown (downtown)
Downtown (downtown) downtown (downtown)
(repeat and fade out)

What the hell is wrong with me? I've been walking around with my own personal rain cloud.
Definitely grumpy bear.

I haven't gotten into my rhythm here in Chicago. I've been in an anti-social mood these past two days, in addition to some other things. Boo for me! I'm hoping that it's been because I've been tired. It takes quite a bit of energy to smile, be cheerful, make an effort to meet new people, be social, and be "on" in general. ick.

And, am I just being naive in thinking that listening skills, note-taking skills, question-asking skills are all things everyone in the working-world, ok, at least in the consulting industry should already have....like....i dunno....before they were hired? Or maybe I'm being naive in thinking/hoping that my company wouldn't $4000 to send me out here for two weeks to "learn" how to do these things.

Ok, ok. In all fairness, that was only a summary of today. I'm sure it'll get better, I just have to get over my general negative attitude.

So complainy! Sheesh.

I better head to bed, else I get more grumpy tomorrow.

Drop me a line! I'd LOVE to hear from ya!!

Buffy:
Every single night the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight.
Still I always feel the strangest strangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
I've been making shows of trading blows
just hoping no one knows
That i've been going through the motions
walking through the part.
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart

I was always brave and kind of rightous,
Now I find I'm wavering.
Crawl out of your grave you'll find this fight,
just doesn't mean a thing.

Vamp: She ain't got that swing

Buffy: Thanks for noticing!

Vamps/Demon: She does pretty well with things from hell
but lately we can tell she's been going through the motions.
Faking it somehow.
She's not even half the girl she....ow

Buffy: Will I stay this way forever?
Sleep walk through my life's endeavor.

Hot Guy: How can i repay you...?

Buffy: whatever!
I don't want to be...
going through the motions,
loosing all my drive
I can't even see, if this is really me
and i just want to be....
Alive!

Many of my friends who have known me for a while know that it took me nearly 19 years before I was able to admit that I'm spoiled. My parents spoil me, my cousins spoil me, my friends spoil me. I'm ok with it; I appreciate it. I still contend that I'm not a brat as a result of it. I hope you agree.

Now, it has taken almost 24 years for me to realize that, by golly, I deserve to be spoiled. Well, ok, I deserve to be spoiled as much as the next person.

Not only that, I'm perfectly capable of spoiling myself as well. Until I find that guy who's just absolutely crazy about and will stop at no end to spoil me, I'm perfectly content spoiling myself and letting my family spoil me.

I've rather enjoyed the single life these past 5 weeks. Well, except for the occasional ten minutes here and there where I think to myself, "yea, it'd be nice to have a significant other". But then it passes -- I'm over it.

Reading "He's Just Not That Into You" was more beneficial than I thought. I want a guy, who's totally into me, because, well, I've got a lot going for me. And, even if I meet these amazingly interesting (and hot) guys (which I have been), but they're not into me, I'm not going to beat myself up about it, or stoop or mope, wishing and hoping...cuz it really is their loss.

There, my self-affirmation of the week -- only difference, I really do believe this. Don't know what's been my deal lately -- why on earth did I forget this?

If you're wondering what sparked this revelation, it was the news that one of my friends from high school (the least expected guy) was recently married. It was also hearing another close friend contemplate marriage. Gah, I'm sooo not there, I'm loving the independence. Oh, and not having met THE one is a contributing factor too. In the meantime, I'm just gonna live it up.

To all my single friends out there. You are HOT, you are INTELLIGENT, you are TALENTED, and you are a CATCH. Don't you ever forget it. Wait for that special person who will never forget it to come along. And until he or she does, go have some FUN!!!

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, I saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay

Life is full of dualities. I sometimes feel both lonely and grumpily anti-social. How do you reconcile?

Maybe these are the times when someone to whom you are dear can "rescue" you. I hate that word. Any self-respecting, independent female has been conditioned to loathe that word.

If you ask me, I'm never really in need of being rescued. Girls with "issues" need to be rescued -- I don't have issues. Still, I find myself drawn to fictional heroes who time and again come to the aid of the woman they love. Kenshin, Tuxedo Mask, Zoro....the list goes on (don't laugh!)

My toughest battles are often internal dichotomies. How can anyone save you from that?

The answer is surprisingly simple...love me, sympathize with me, don't judge me, and occasionally knock some sense into my. That last bit is key. I am probably the most stubborn person I know -- I freely admit that. Sometimes a little bit of tough love is all I need.

Honesty is much appreciated when dealing with me. The truth is the only thing more powerful than my own stubbornness. There have been a handful of people who have been able to penetrate the many layers of defense that I sometimes throw up. With these people, I could discuss the gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, spine-tingling ordeals in my life. They were able to help me resolve the toughest issues, in essence "rescuing" me, but never protecting me from my own emotions.

Life is about feeling, and the truth sometimes hurts. By protecting someone from an emotion, you're actually robbing them of the power that comes from knowledge and truth.

Eh, ok, that was my random thought of the day. Life has been otherwise extremely busy lately, as you may have noticed by lack of update. Nothing too noteworthy, but I'm out there, working longer hours, seeing friends, the usual.

Hope you guys are all doing great!

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
With a word she can get what she came for

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
And you know sometimes words have two meanings
In the tree by the brook there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forest will echo with laughter

And it makes me wonder

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring clean for the May Queen

Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on

Your head is humming and it won't go because you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady can't you hear the wind blow and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
With a word she can get what she came for


And she's buying a stairway to heaven, uh uh uh