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It's Not My Time??

I've never been one of those people who chalks life events up to fate, or providence, or even necessarily God's will. I am too much of a control freak to relinquish that kind of power to an external power. If I fail to accomplish something, I seldom comfort myself by saying that it just wasn't meant to be; much of me believes that I failed to accomplish that thing because, well, because I failed. There must have been something that was in my control that I failed to do or something that I did poorly.

Naturally, I take the same approach towards dating, even though in my head I know that I shouldn't and have been told many times that I shouldn't. But it's such an ingrained part of me, it's hard to depart from my usual MO.

Recently, I've started giving myself over to the idea that maybe, despite all my greatest efforts, I'm not meant to find that special someone yet because there are so many things I'm meant to accomplish before settling down. Perhaps when my attention is undivided, I am better positioned to affect the kind of change that I am inspired to reach for. Perhaps of all that I desire, I've just been chasing the wrong thing.

Perhaps it just truly isn't meant to be...

yet, I hope...

I Am Moved to Change

Recently, I've been noticing a lack of diversity in my life. I am surrounded by people who are mostly, well, like me. At work, my colleagues are young professionals who are all ambitious and work hard. My friends are all well educated, the majority of whom are also successful young professionals. A disturbing number of them are Chinese American (I don't think this is significant, just kinda funny).

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and appreciate my colleagues. I am grateful to be able to have intelligent conversations with my friends, to have friends who share my values, and who understand me. I grow each day because I am constantly able to learn from my friends and colleagues. I guess I'm just disturbed by how fortunate I am.

I fear that my good fortune, lack of diversity, lack of stark opposition, and lack of adverse challenges may spoil me and shelter me from reality. I fear that I will get too comfortable with my cushy spot in the world and forget to push myself to make the kinds of change that will help others.

Just the other night, a small group of us were discussing the continual redesign of the SAT, and someone commented how after the redesign in the late 90s, it became easy to get a score of 1400 or more. While I'm quite certain that everyone at the table got a score of 1500+, I had to voice my objection to that statement because I know that for the majority of students taking that test, a 1400 is no small feat (what does that translate to these days, a 2100?). It occurred to me that night that if we're not careful, we could get lulled into thinking that folks who went to the Stanfords, Berkeleys, Harvards, and Princetons of the world are the norm. We could easily lose sight of the fact that there are those out there who have real problems, whose greatest dilemma is not whether to buy the 42" LCD TV or the 48" TV.

I have been following this year's election more closely than any other before. I find it exciting, motivating, and inspiring that Americans have turn out in record numbers to participate in our democratic process, many participating in what some call a movement for change. More inspiring than that, this election has brought out the best in people (barring negative ads). The stories you hear about folks, like the 21 year old super delegate from Wisconsin, makes you want to get off your couch and go do something. All the talk of change and action makes me want to be a part of some solution (not necessarily a political one, but a social or charitable one).

Each year around this time, I reflect on whether I've been pushing myself hard enough in the past 12 months to affect some sort of positive change. The answer is always invariably no. And it's damn frustrating. There are any number of obstacles that can prevent progress, some are external and some are due to my own shortcomings. I'm never quite sure if my disappointment in myself means that I should practice more patience or if it means that I should devote more time to my goals. If you've got any suggestions, I'm all ears.

I guess for now, I can take solace in the fact that doing something is still infinitely better than doing nothing, so in 2008 I will continue to work with Huy and Christina to build up our foundation, talk to anyone who will listen to us, and encourage as many people as possible to donate to our cause, and hopefully spend some time abroad in a developing country doing some non-profit consulting work. I think I would also be happier if I found a local non-profit I could dedicate some time to. Now...where do I go about finding one of those...?


Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could
Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television

What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
(waiting)
Waiting on the world to change

Safeway Was About to Fly Away

Safeway has been overtaken by mylar balloons.

You meet the strangest people at Safeway late at night. I was behind a guy who insisted on placing his items on the conveyor belt in single file. He would wait for all his items to move up before he would put another item on, even though there was sooo much room on the conveyor belt *next* to his other items. Who does that??

Food, Food, Everywhere!!

Too tired to give a full recount, but the final menu was:

  • Vietnamese Deli Meats
    Chả and Giò Thủ
  • Asian Green Leaf Salad with Sesame Dressing
  • Steamed Sea Bass with Soy Sauce and Ginger
    Cá Háp Hành Gừng
  • Stewed Pork
    Thịt Kho Nước Dừa
  • Rice Noodles with Shrimp and Pork
    Búa Xào
  • Pan Fried Sticky Rice Cakes
    Bánh Tét Chiên
  • Soy Roasted Chicken
    Gà Xì Dầu
  • Eight Treasures Vegetable Clay Pot
  • Tofu and Mushroom Medley
    Kho Chay
  • Cai Lan with Oyster Sauce
  • Vietnamese Taro Pudding
    Chè Khoai Môn
  • Pomelo
  • Soursop

Casualty: Taro Pudding. I think it needed more sugar.

Things I bought or made and forgot to put out: Pickled carrots and daikon to go with the deli meats; pickled mustard to go with the stewed pork. Sigh. I also had enough ingredients to make a second fish, as well as another round of noodles.

Who wants to come over for round 2 tomorrow??

WTF? Election Style

C'mon California Republicans. If you say the economy is most important to you, why would you go and vote for McCain? Romney friggin *ran* Bain Consulting.

CBS, why would you call CA for Clinton with 14% of the precincts reporting? Alameda county is still open for pete's sake.

Ok, ok. I guess Clinton wins CA, but certainly not by that kind of margin?!?!!?